He is so good.

JMac is bustin outta here. The doctors feel certain that he should recover at home and away from this germy hospital where risk of infection is just too high. He will have home health come by once a day to check vitals and make sure he is obeying all his "rules". PT will begin coming by as well until he is able to get out of the house and go to PT. He has lots of restrictions over the next 6 weeks. Justin isn't much of a rule follower. In fact he excels at convincing people that it is really a good plan to break the rules :) If you know him personally...you know this is TRUTH! Justin is so overwhelmed by Gods' grace and protection during his surgery. He felt His presence over him when he awoke. He was in agonizing pain, but he knew that he had been given a very great gift. The odds were against him, but our great God was FOR him. In light of the tragedies around us, we know more than ever that life is so precious. This is not the life we planned for. These are not the challenges that we ever thought we would encounter. God isn't done with Justin yet...and we praise Him for that. He is our everything, and we WILL adore Him. Please join us in praise for this overwhelming outcome. The road ahead is going to be hard, but the unending reminder of His presence will sustain us...no doubt.
What are the next six weeks going to look like? What can he do? How will he feel? Can you come visit? Why are you not answering my text? How can we help?
How blessed are we to have these questions to answer?!
Basically, Justin's list of things he cannot do for awhile is pretty lengthy. He cannot kneel, bend, reach (for example reach down and pull up his blanket), out on shoes or socks, cross legs, twist, DRIVE (say what?!), bear full weight on his right light, life more than 15 lbs, stand for too long, sit for too long, shower standing up etc. He also cannot vacuum...which I am sure is devastating to him. NOT. I bet he doesnt even know where I keep the vacuum. There are many things he can do after this six weeks recovery and some he can never do again. Like, play basketball which pretty much means my debut on basketball wives is on permanent hold.
The collapse of his right hip is inevitable, so we will do all this again at some point. We will be pros by then! We are also praying hard as many suggestions from doctors have come in about returning to Cleveland and seeking some alternative care. Please pray that we will seek his will in discerning what is the best option.
He hurts like crazy. The man takes dinosaur amounts of pain meds on a daily basis and it is hard to find anything that works for him other than keeping him knocked out. He loves visitors, but we have to continue to be extra sensitive to germs. If you think you may be getting sick do not come. If you have been around a sick person do not come. If you do not shower often dont come. :) Please check with me first when you want to come visit. If it isnt a good time, I will tell you when a better time is. Taking care of Justin is a full time job right now and tack on my three little amigos and I have my hands full (with beautiful things). So please give us grace if we are not updating you well. We know you love us and want to be praying for us specifically and I will continue to make the blog a priority. We know that we would not be on the back end of an uncomplicated surgery if it wasnt for YOUR prayers. Justin will need full time care for a bit, so your offers to help have not been unnoticed. We are grateful for the yummy meals that have been coming and the incredible people who have stepped up and taken care of things that we just cant get to right now. You are doing God's work right now. You are serving in a mighty way. Go hug your husband, kiss your wife, wrap your kids up in a big hug and tickle them until they pee. Really, do it now.

post op day 1 - quick update

So we are at day 1 post op and things are going pretty well. He slept better than expected last night and they mostly disturbed me instead of him ;) The doctor has finally gotten the pain under control, that has been the most difficult part thus far. With the amount of medications that he takes baseline, it was tough to come up with a concoction that would give him any relief. This morning his IV infiltrated and his forearm swelled to double its size. He looked a bit like popeye! They got it out and were able to set a new IV in his port. He has not been able to move around much so they have brought in some special tools to help with skin irritations and blood clots. He has a fancy blow up mattress now and they have offered him some air boots, but he declined :) He is still wearing compression garments and movement simulators on his feet. Physical Therapy was no bueno yesterday. They made him sit up on the side of his bed and it was flat out awful. Today the therapist was able to assist Justin with a walker and he got out of bed and walked over to a chair where he sat for about 45 minutes. I was so proud of him!!! The therapy wears him out big time but he is being strong as always and trucking through it. He knows it is what he needs to do to get  outta this place. We still need to remain in prayer over the next two weeks for infections risks.
current prayer requests:
1. NO infection
2. that he can make all his physical therapy goals
3. that the pain will continue to subside so that he can come off IV meds
4. little macs at home
thanks, yall.

ps: please forgive us if we have not responded to your text or call. we are gratefully overwhelmed with all the phone love and it is hard to keep up with! we are feelin the love ya'll.

song of hope

all things bright and beautiful you are

all things wise and wonderful you are

in my darkest night, you brighten up the skies

a song will rise

i will sing a song of hope

sing along

god of heaven come down 

heaven come down

just to know that you are near is enough

go of heaven come down

God of Heaven came down. He came right on down to the OR at NC Baptist today and made Himself PRESENT. We knew that he was near...and THAT was enough. This morning was hard. It was scary and very sad to leave him behind while I was scooted on to the waiting room. Thankfully, Katie was there with open arms waiting for me to cry in her lap. Dru was there too, but lucky for him I did not cry in his lap. Sweet people surrounded me while we waited for what seemed like 986543 hours...and then the news came. The most wonderful news. Surgery went better than expected! The surgeon was more than pleased with the lack of complications. He got "a whole bunch" of staples on the left side where they did the total hip replacement and has two incisions on the right where the core decompression took place. They used some of his own stem cells to hopefully regenerate some of the bone on the right side and buy some time (this is the more painful procedure of the two and will take longer to heal than the other). We need to diligently pray that the right hip will behave. The surgeon feels like a right hip replacement is ultimately inevitable...but this will stave that off for a bit.  The surgeon reported that his cartilage just peeled away like paper...yuck. Good thing all that broken junk is OUT. 

Justin is now is some serious pain. They were not as on top of their game with pain management as we had hoped, but he is now fully awake and getting a little relief. Physical therapy starts now. They are coming in shortly to make him sit up...he is super excited about that. Not. We have a very long road to recovery ahead, but the worst is over! You prayer warriors are just the icing on top of a very yummy cupcake. 

Main prayer concerns for now:

1. NO infection, specifically in the joints

2. pain management

3. the little macs at home

We are asking that you be super sensitive regarding visitation right now. We promise to be honest, so if you want to come...just ask. We will let you know if it is a good time or not. Today he just wants to rest, but he may be up for a buddy or two tomorrow :) Please make sure that you leave your germs at home. Thanks, ya'll. 

let us REJOICE

The past few weeks (and specifically days) have been jam packed. Much has happened, some good, some sad and a lot of in between.
We have had a LOT to do in a short time regarding Justin's surgery...which also came during a VERY busy two weeks of life. We had some family pics taken by our awesome friend Rachel Russo. She is SO very talented and so precious for squeezing us into her busy schedule. We had a great time and I ALREADY have the most amazing pics hanging on my wall (thanks to another dear friend!). We were SO blessed to have some amazing friends put together a little 24 hour getaway to the Hill Country Hyatt. We needed some time away to think of nothing...and we could not have done that at a more beautiful and relaxing place. So grateful. Then we took a little impromptu getaway to the river house (justins favorite place) to relax and spend some time with the boys. It has been so amazing having Justin home these past few weeks. We have gotten to actually do LIFE with him...we see him more than one day a week and it has been incredible. The boys are on cloud nine. He has been resting quite a bit which has been so needed for so long. Then...we MOVED. We closed Tuesday and moved straight in. Again, my amazing friends came through and less than 48 hours later we were FULLY unpacked. Completely done. Insane, I know.
Unfortunately, that night our community lost a very dear person. The town of Boerne was shaken as a pillar of faith, a leader in our church, an amazing husband and father was taken from this earth in a car accident. We rejoice as he enters Heaven, but we mourn with his beautiful wife and two adorable children. It hurts to badly to think of a loss so tragic and instant. I feel like I have been given a very big heads up on what could potentially be a significant loss in my life. My friend did not have a heads up. This town has lost so much and yet gained so much. Stay near to us Lord... because we are broken hearted.
Amidst this devastating loss, Justin chose to rededicate his life to Jesus. We know that God had orchestrated this plan long ago, and we moved forward with his baptism on Saturday. Justin's dearest friends joined us at the river for a beautiful celebration of salvation. I just cannot describe in words (I know, shocking!) how special this day was. The weather was forecasted to be gross, but the sun shined so brightly! It could not have been more perfect. Our Pastor challenges him and loves him so much, it was so personal and just so perfect.
And now, we prepare for surgery day. There has been SO much to do in preparation. Blood work, tests, appointments, xrays and blah blah blah. Justin and I will arrive for pre op stuff at 4am on Tuesday. We have absolutely no idea how long he will be there but we have planned for no less than 7 days. He will have a total left hip replacement and core decompression on the right. These two surgeries at the same time are complicated and risky for anyone, but even more so for Justin. So why the rush? The several doctors that treat him on a regular basis and the several surgeons who saw him agreed that this is Justin's only chance to walk again and to reduce the pain long term. There are no guarantees. It is also necessary to carefully place this surgery smack in the middle of his chemo treatments...so the time is now.
Please cover him and the two surgeons in prayer. Please think of him during the long road to recovery ahead. We don't know what the next few weeks and months are going to look like, but we do know that we can do it. We will figure it out, we will roll with the punches, I will undoubtedly freak out a time or two, we will be loved on and prayed for...and we will never stop leaning on the Lord. We will find the new normal, we will kick its tail and then we will move onto the next thing. God is so faithful in bringing us peace and understanding even when it seems like there just isn't a bit of hope left. We don't have time to be idle friends. There is much to gain in leaning on the Lord...so so much.

and now some pics...

just one of the amazing shots russo got :) bryce was on standby with the crutches...macs working together!

 my boys LOVE babies

Raegan and Ellis workin hard on unpacking day!!

Baptism Day

real men love jesus

 (check out all that ONE LESS orange!)

 two little buddies watching Justin on this extra special day

 loading up to head down to the river. i mean...does it get more awesome than this?

And he was washed in the blood. This remarkable gift from Jesus will never be forgotten. 

This is the day the Lord has made...Let us REJOICE!

more pics to come

i like church

Being a "Christian" is becoming a harder thing to do these days....and it isn't because of Jesus. There are so many (well intentioned) people who are criticizing  the church and its believers and its a turn off. It is exhausting. Now don't get me wrong, I love a good radical thinker. I love to step outside the box and out of the comfort zone and on the front lines...but I also know that doing these things does not get me a special seat in Heaven. I do not believe that I am favored for my works or my extra time in the Word or my knowledge of the hip Biblical jargon. Jesus loves me JUST the same as he loves the drunken homeless man on the corner. Just as much. Not even one bit more. He knows how many hairs are on BOTH of our heads. It hurts my heart to see how being judgmental is glorified by so many Christians. Calling out others sins, giving satan credit where credit is not due, blaming the church, making the gospel into something more complicated than it is. 

Jesus BLED for our sins. He paid the debt. IT IS DONE. We are no longer bound to this sins of our generations behind us. We are forgiven. That is the point of the cross people. We can't let being radical outweigh love and acceptance. The church is good. The church doesn't always get it right, but the church is good. I am sure many of you have heard the church is a "hospital for sinners"...I like that. I like going to a place to worship corporately and sit among people who also can't help but sin all the dang time. Not sinning is HARD. That is why only Jesus could do it. Only Jesus. 

Sometimes the truth hurts. Sometimes we need a gut check. But sometimes, we just need love. I feel like the most important role we can take on as Christians is by sharing the gospel. Sharing the LOVE of the cross. How MUCH HE loved us to give His son. How MUCH HE loved us to shed all that blood. We can't all love Jesus the exact same way. We can't pass judgment on those who don't love the same way as we do. It's just not ok. 

I want to be challenged, but not insulted. I want to be encouraged, but not coddled. I want to never forget that Jesus loves me just as he loves YOU. 

 

curveball

The definition of a curveball is: a type of pitch in baseball thrown with a characteristic grip and hand movement that imparts forward spin to the ball causing it to dive in a downward path as it approaches the plate. 

So, the ball is thrown with a special hand movement that is calculated and intentional which causes a last minute change of course. This change of course messes up the batter's plan. He was probably planning on running to first base...and instead he is headed back to the dugout. 

Justin and I have been thrown a curveball or two in our little lives together. And we were thrown another on Friday. Justin had some testing done last week due to the extreme amounts of pain he continues to have in his legs and hips. The tests showed that Justin now has avascular necrosis (which means bone death). His hips and left femur have been fully effected and he now must be in a wheelchair full time. There is no cure for the already damaged bones, but there are some possible solutions in stopping this quickly spreading disease. He will be seen by an orthopedic surgeon soon to determine what all his options will be. For now, we know that he should plan to be in a wheelchair for a very long time. This changes all 5 of our lives in many ways. Justin will be home full time for awhile and we are just taking it day by day. We were put in a position to quickly make a move regarding our home situation and we are overwhelmingly blessed to announce that we are officially Boerne folks now! We have some things working on our current home, but we are leaving that to the Lord. He knows what we need and where we need to be and what kind of home we need to be in to accommodate Justin's new accessory. 

We are still the same ol Macs. We are disheartened, but not defeated. We will not allow a curveball to send us back to the dugout. God has other plans for us, and they are not going to take place in a dugout. 

Justin's heart surgery is postponed until we get more information on this new and very pressing matter. We are grateful to each of you for your support and encouragement in the crazy weeks ahead! THIS is the day the LORD has made, let us REJOICE and be glad in it - Psalms 118:24

(ps: i dont even really like baseball all that much)

it is in RED

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. - Matthew 6:34

So...wait a minute. Jesus said there is going to be trouble today? And tomorrow? Yup. He said it. It is in RED. I find it comforting to know that our Father didn't give us false expectations. He promised us a glorious new life and healing, but we will have to wait for it. Jesus also said blessed are those who mourn, the poor, the hungry, the sick etc. BLESSED!? You mean...he didnt say condemn them? Feel sorry for them? Pray that they believe harder? Nope. He did not. It is in RED. 

What a treasure it is to know that Jesus reminds us through His word that believers won't have it easy. It seems odd to say, but it truly is comforting. He has given us the freedom to ask for and seek whatever we want...but only He knows what we NEED. And He will provide. 

Sometimes when I look over our life I feel like a hamster in one of those ball things. Hurry up and wait. Run run run to...nowhere. Be patient. Be grateful. Be humble. Be prayerful. Be still. YIKES! If I do all of those things at the exact same time with a big smile on my face will He bless me and make it all easier? Nope. 

So, fine. I will keep my chin up for the party that is coming and do my best to follow some of these directions He has left for me. Praise Him for this big instruction manual, because I am a hot mess without it. 

There have been a few updates regarding Justin. He will have his heart surgery next week. He also went for several tests today regarding some new developments dr. f discovered. We will just deal with that after the surgery :) Get your praying pants back on folks! Just leave them on, ok?

And now a little recap of the past few weeks...

we did a little easter egg dying!

after each time he would say "I DID IT!"

We loved getting some good time with Pop Pop at the river house!

I got to go to our church womens retreat this past weekend. Left feeling refreshed for some encouraging time with some pretty awesome gals...and with some serious allergies :)

And the little nuggets started soccer!!! 

They loved it to pieces. And so did I!

surrender

Going to Disney World was a HUGE blessing for our family. We were able to escape all the real life stuff and just focus on some fun. Although it would be a dream come true to just pick up and go live at disney world...that is not an option. 

We got back home and sure enough life was waiting for us. Bills, doctors appointments, school, the calendar. None of that went on vacation. So here are some highlights of our post disney blues.

This month I get to celebrate the life of my beautiful mother. It was 4 years ago that the world lost her big brown eyes and hilarious personality. It is strange to me that it has been so long. Sometimes it seems like it has been longer and sometimes it feels like just yesterday. I know that I got to be a part of some of her very best years, and for that I am grateful. What I mourn the most is what my kids will miss out on with her. Bryce remembers less and less of her and it breaks my heart because he was pretty much her favorite person in the world. I am reminded so often that our life on earth is just a blip on the radar. It is just a tiny crumb on the buffet. I know that God restores our broken hearts and broken bodies and washes us clean, but it sure is the pits to be left behind. It has been extra difficult these past few weeks as I watched my best friend prepare to lose her father. My heart breaks all over again for her loss. He calls us to be weak, for it is then that we rely on Him most. Nobody has the right words for times like these...and that is just how He wants it. 

And your faith will not rest on the wisdom of man, but in the power of God. 1 corinthians 2:5

The time of "rest" in Disney was also in great timing regarding Justin's newest health developments. I will spare all the details for now, but my guy will be undergoing heart surgery sometime soon. Justin suffers from some unusual (and VERY bothersome) side effects that Dr. F has had a hard time linking to any of his diseases and/or medications. He sent him into a cardiologist to test him for pulmonary hypertension. While it was a huge praise to find out Justin does NOT have that...something else was discovered. It will need to be repaired very soon. We do not have info on when this will be yet, other than it will be soon. They will go though his leg (don't even get me started on that...I had to have the dr draw me a picture!) and he will only be down and out about a week. While surgery is never ideal for Justin, we are grateful that this doctor was thorough and found something that needed repair. It is discouraging to know that Justin has yet ANOTHER issue that is completely unrelated to all the others. We just do not understand how one persons body can be so filled with so many separate disasters. Proverbs 3:5 tells us not to depend on our own understanding and to TRUST the Lord with ALL of our heart. Thank goodness for that...because I got ZIP in the understanding department. I surrender. 

And on a lighter note...

I helped host a diaper shower for my sweet friend Chantel. She is having baby number 3 and she doesnt know what it will BEE! Is this not the cutest cake you have ever seen in all your life? 

We are gearing up for the One Less Race!! I suggest you stop what you are doing and head on over to register. This year it's gonna be ORANGE. Seriously...do not miss out on this. 

www.onelessrace.com

We got to hang out with our fun friends Heath and Sarah! They have the MOST exciting house in the world. Bryce finally got a chance to try out his dirt bike gear. We all have such a great time at their house...pretty sure they would think our house is a total snore :)

Bryce had his last basketball game. He had a great time playing and I had a GREAT time watching. I never realized quite how boring baseball can be (which he has played for 3.5 years...both fall and spring) until I got to watch basketball! I am happy we decided to encourage him to try some new sports. Bryce's super hero Josh even came out to watch him play once. Now THAT was exciting! 

that's all for now!

disney!

The Disney post is FINALLY happening! I have been planning a trip to disney since the second I became a mommy. It was so so fun to plan. We chose February for several reasons...the cost is lower because it is not a peak time, which also means the crowds were lower (major bonus), Justin is actually allowed to have days off in feb :) and we knew the weather would not be too hot or too cold (either extreme is really hard on Justin). It ended up being a great choice. It only rained one day while we were there and the rest of the time we were in shorts. I have a lot of die hard Disney friends and there are a LOT of disney blogs. And when I say a LOT, I basically mean like one million. It is overwhelming and ridiculous. My sweet friends gave me lots good pointers and I was able to pick up some money/time saving ideas from the never ending disney mommy blog land. We really took our trip slow. We did not do and see every single things and that was OK. We did what we were able to do without wearing out Justin and the littles and it was completely perfect. So here is our trip!

riding a taxi to the airport! brax LOVES taxis (and I am not really sure why) 

so that was a fun start to the trip. 

in true mac style...our trip was NOT drama free. we had a SEVEN hour flight delay on our way there. brody's shirt was very fitting for the day. 

we stayed at the art of animation resort and LOVED it. we went back and forth on value resorts vs moderate resorts and we decided that separate bathrooms and bedrooms trumped location. we stayed in a nemo suite and it was absolutely adorable. 

here is a pic of the pool. it was heated so the boys actually got in one night!

our first stop of the trip was the magic kingdom! 

there are just no words to describe the...well...MAGIC of this place!

Our first purchase of the day was an autograph book for Bryce and hats for the little boys. 

 first character sighting was chip and dale! all the boys loved the characters...but Brody was a whole different story. brody thought each one had come straight from the TV to the park specifically to meet HIM. precious beyond words!

lucky justin got pulled from the crowd to be in a little show. you know he just LOVED that!! this little gal with the orange hair wanted him to be her boyfriend :)

we had dinner the first night at the kona cafe in the polynesian resort. it was SO yummy. 

we were VERY happy we chose to do the dining plan. it really seemed worth it. 

we were good about planning nap time and taking our day slow, so we were able to make it to the light parade on the first night. 

day two we headed to hollywood studios. we had a character breakfast with some disney junior stars. these were certainly not MY favorite characters...but the little boys loved it. And it was all you can eat bacon so Justin and Bryce were happy :)

 I had some REALLY cute shirts made for the boys before we went. My very talented friend from high school has a facebook page for her creations. (sewn by shannon) I just sent her pictures of what I wanted and she made them and shipped them in no time at all! 

day three we headed to animal kingdom. 

the lion king show was awesome!

we had a great character lunch with mickey and his friends at the tusker house. 

we spent lots of time at epcot. we had heard that this may not be as fun for the boys...

but we loved it! it was very relaxing and there was plenty for everyone to do and see. 

at the polynesian luau. the boys had their faces painted at epcot! 

the boys did NOT want to get off the stage!

                                      

ok the rest of the pics are totally out of order. so sue me. 

our volcano dessert at the dinosaur restaurant in downtown disney